The ABC of Erections – A Little Dicktionary

The penis has evolved over many millennia to enable boys to piss over five bar gates standing up. There is evidence for other useful purposes.

The male front-of-house player, along with its essential bit parts, is an elegant solution to a knotty anatomical problem – how to deposit two disparate fluids in the right place at the right time through one tube – in no particular order. Needless to say, this astonishingly sophisticated mechanism remains a mystery to most owners: they are guaranteed to be seriously discombobulated when this major miracle develops any glitch or quirk.

Only girls have the single purpose embryological variant devised solely for their personal pleasure – but they can also pay a “penalty”.


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